im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
