But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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