i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
