He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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