Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
