I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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