Dual....:-)
My nipple is on Facebook.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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