Fuck appropriateness.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
