If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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