so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
