why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize