I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
