His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
