Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its not stalking. its research.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
