shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
