There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
