In the future we'll all be gay
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
