what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize