and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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