i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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