I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
