bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
