Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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