He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
