Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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