No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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