My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
