I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
