Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
