you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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