i think my tv is drunk
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Randomize
