sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
