Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
