I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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