I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
