i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize