Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
