We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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