I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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