On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
