Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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