I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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