I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
