HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
