He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When are your genitals available?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
