That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
