my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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