ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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