I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize