I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
