You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
