I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish my penis had a tongue
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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