im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
