Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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