Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need moral support for this bender
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
