everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
