I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
