so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
