why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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