Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
