I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
