You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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