You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
