Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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