dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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