he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
