This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
