So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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