I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
