im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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