it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize