Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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