Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
